Wednesday, November 03, 2004

I'm Choking Here!

Three simple words: Brush your teeth!

You are a co-worker, a fellow bus passenger, or a complete stranger... And your breath is bad! You stand too close, talk too loud, and project your own special brand of foulness into my face.

Chew some gum.

You pile onions on your burger, choose Caesar salad over tossed greens, or down three too many cocktails with lunch... And your breath is bad! You are oblivious to the stench that emanates from your mouth and causes me to wince.

Have a mint.

You have a phlegmy chest cold, a horde of happily multiplying germs, and an inexplicable inability to cover your mouth when you cough... And your breath is BAD! Your infectious exhalations mount a two-pronged assault on my nose and immune system.

Pop some pills and a breath strip.

You're reading this now and you're wondering if I'm referring to you. In a word: Yes. I don't mean that in an offensive way... I'm not the type to tell you to your face that you stink. But I've been quietly suffering through the putrid waves of nauseating aromas for too long now. Something needed to be said. And that something is:

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