Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Men and Their Laundry

I've gone and done it again...

Even though my days of bachelorhood are behind me, bits and pieces of the old lifestyle still manage to cling to me more tenaciously than cat hair on a pair of black pants. Even though I had the entire weekend to get it done, my laundry basket still sits in the corner of the bathroom like some multi-colored volcano photographed in mid-eruption.

I can't ignore it any longer. Not only is it clashing terribly with the girlfriend's Guest Towels and Fancy Soaps, but I've completely run out of clothes for work! Sure, working in a warehouse means I don't have to don the old Suit and Tie everyday, but I'm not too eager to relive past nightmares by showing up wearing only a pair of boxers... Or was it briefs? Either way, if I don't get some laundry done tonight, I'll be forced to wear my "nice pants" (the ones my girlfriend bought me) and my faded "Hard Rock Cafe: Los Angeles" T-Shirt. The shirt should have been thrown out long ago, but men don't throw away clothes... That would be like abandoning a car on the side of the road... You just don't do it! As for the "nice pants", if I recall correctly, I believe I signed some sort of contract that forbids them being within 3 kilometers of the warehouse. So, laundry time it is...

Now, I could grab that laundry basket, separate the clothes into clever little piles like "colors", "darks", and "whites", but like I said, there are some parts of the bachelor lifestyle that never go away. If it wasn't already 11:30 at night, I'd probably just grab everything that wasn't "white-ish" and cram it into the machine (I find a broomstick is especially handy for "tamping" the articles into place), double the soap dosage, and let the Warm Wash / Cold Rinse cycle do its thing. Next, a nice full load of "white-ish" on Hot Wash / Cold Rinse and we're almost done. All that would remain is to stuff the freshly "washed" loads back into the laundry basket, where they would sit for a week until no iron on Earth could get the wrinkles out. But I haven't got time for that tried and true method...

Instead, I'll have to pick through the piles, find exactly what I want to wear tomorrow, and wash it, regardless of color. This is also a common method of mine, which probably goes a long way toward explaining my use of the word "white-ish"...

Anyway, then I'll have to sit up, probably posting something terribly boring to my blog like, "Men and Their Laundry" while I wait for the wash to finish. Once it goes in the dryer, I'm home free and can get back to the peaceful sleep I was enjoying before I was startled awake by the realization that I had no clothes to wear.

Here I go again...
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