Boring Childhood Stories: Foot in Mouth, Flat on Back

In my teen years I attended a little church on the other side of town. For the most part, I went to the Youth Group meetings on Friday nights, where I hung out with a pretty cool group of kids. In fact, it was in this group that I met my "best friend".

One wintry Sunday morning, after a night of movies and talking about a million trivial things, this friend and I were running to catch a bus to be in time for the Morning Service. As we raced down the street, I looked down and noticed that, unlike myself in my ratty running shoes, he was wearing a very nice pair of dress shoes.

"Better watch out in those shoes," I warned. "It's pretty icy and those things have no grip!"

He scoffed, "I'm a wrestler... I have perfect balance."

This would be a good time to pause and point out that he was, indeed, a wrestler, and a good one at that. However, no sooner had these fateful words left his mouth than he stepped on a patch of ice.

It all happened in super slow-motion... I saw his feet go out from under him and his body seemed to drift upwards, almost gracefully. But then gravity kicked in and wrapped its unrelenting fingers around his now near horizontal form. Down, down, down, he went... finally slamming into the ground with a massive thud. I reacted as any true friend would have in that situation.

I laughed my ass off! It was the funniest thing I had ever seen! The timing was just so perfect! To be honest, I can't even remember if we made the bus after that or not... all I remember is laughing and saying the words "perfect balance" over and over again.

So, back to the present. During this Christmas shopping season, I happened to find myself in one of those stores that sells all sorts of knick-knacks and home-made do-dads. One little basket was filled with all sorts of polished stones adorned with what I can only assume was Chinese writing. Each one had an Oriental character on one side, and the English translation on the other. I'm sure you've seen them. Anyway, although it came 16 years too late, I managed to find the perfect one for my friend:

But wait! It gets better... This friend's initials are K.H. and, if you look closely at the Chinese writing, you'll see them there too, plain as day!

I guess it was meant to be!